You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
