absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
