He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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