i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
