why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize