I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
