i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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