OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
