I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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