am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
