Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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