hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
