Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
