when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
