Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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