My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
