Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize