question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
