You're my little dorito
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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