Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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