Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
