were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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