So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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