do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
