It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
