you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
