This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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