guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
