even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
