This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
