I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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