Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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