I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
