You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
