i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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