her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
