1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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