You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
