My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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