Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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