Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
