We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
