Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Congratulations! We have a period
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