It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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