if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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