I think my vagina is haunted
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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