So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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