He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
