Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
