Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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