I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
