you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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