Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
50% drunk capacity currently
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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